Have you ever been in a situation where you quickly formed an opinion about someone or something? We naturally tend to generalise and form judgements about situations, people, countries and cultures based on our experiences and what we have learned from others. Sometimes we can be too quick to make these judgements and generalisations.
A few weeks ago I was going to a friend's place for lunch and decided to buy her a bunch of flowers. I took my driver with me to the florist to help translate. I explained in slow and loud, broken English, gesticulating a BIG circle with my hands that:
"I want BIG bunch of flowers ........ for my friend ..... as present."
My driver who speaks marginally better English than my poor Indonesian skills, looked at me slightly confused, fell silent for a few moments and attempted to translate to the male florist. An in-depth discussion followed for the next 10 minutes.
The florist responded and my driver translated:
"7,500 for flower."
"For each flower or BIG flowers?" I gesticulated again with my BIG circle.
Another in-depth discussion followed between my driver and the florist.
"One flower." my driver proudly translated to me in English.
I didn't know whether I wanted 14 or 25 stems to make a nice, big bunch of flowers and I certainly couldn't calculate in my head what the total would be. I decided to change tactics and ask for a bunch of flowers worth 30,000 rupiah. We all seemed to understand this and I was duly given a bunch of flowers.
The florist hid the beautiful, sweet smelling, white flowers by tightly wrapping them in newspaper, so that only the soggy green, leggy stalks were on display! I took the flowers somewhat surprised, thinking 'is this how they give presents in Bali?' I mentally made a note to myself that next time I buy flowers for friends, I will go to a different florist.
On Sunday, my family and I were going to visit another friend's house for dinner and out of desperation, I had to go to the same florist shop. I didn't have my driver to translate and my previous experience made me expect the worst. This time a female florist helped me.
"Flowers for a friend." I asked in slow, broken English while pointing to the flowers that I liked.
"For a present" she asked. I nodded vehemently and impressed that she knew the word 'present'.
"Roses too ......... Valentine's Day?" she recommended as she showed me a bucket of roses.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. This female assistant was being more than helpful.
"Yes please." I responded eagerly.
"Which colour to wrap flower?" she pointed out all sorts of colours for the ribbons.
"I'll have pink please." I replied excitedly.
Thanks to the female assistant my judgement about the florist has changed for the better. This experience has reminded me to be open to possibilities rather than make fixed judgements.
In what situations have you been too quick to make a judgement? What possibilities can you be more open to?
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