Stuck in the Mud 2

Stuck in the Mud 2 
Have you ever had one of those 'deja-vu' moments, where you feel you've been here before? Just like in the movie 'Ground Hog Day', where weatherman Bill Murray finds himself repeating the same day over and over again, you find yourself making the same mistake and repeating that same 'old' situation.

This happened to me last night, when I took my friends from the UK with my family to our local eating place at Echo Beach. It had been raining solidly for two days in Bali and was the typical, tropical, torrential rain that turns dry volcanic sand into sludgy mud. It did occur to me as I was driving towards the so-called 'car park' whether I should park somewhere different to the last time when we got 'stuck in the mud'. I managed to brush off this feeling of uncertainty and convince myself,  "It will be alright. It's me driving this time and not my husband."

There were eight of us, three adults and five children in my seven seater toyota 'toy' car, so we were fairly heavy and jam packed at the back end. We looked rather like one of those buses in India, where you get people squeezed on board, their faces up against the windows, and their bodies contorted in funny positions to fit in. It was dark and I only had the light from my headlights to direct me. I decided to avoid the spot where my husband got stuck the last time, as that would be stupid of me to do exactly the same thing. I also decided to reverse, so we were all ready for when we left. There was no overhead lighting to guide me and my car seemed to be lacking a reversing light, so I had to trust my judgement or more accurately my luck.

It wasn't a good idea to trust my luck. As I reversed, the tyres skidded over some bumpy bits (not unusual in Bali) and then we suddenly bottomed out into an unexpected dip. I felt a familiar emotional and physical sinking feeling and immediately reacted in a John McEnroe 'you can not be serious' way. I was in total denial that this could be happening to me again and with 'responsible' me driving.The only difference this time was that we hadn't already eaten dinner.

"Everybody out," I shouted, "I'm sure we'll be fine if there's not too much weight in the car."

I carefully revved the engine, hoping that the gentle acceleration would simply lift the car out of the mud. No such luck. The car was as stuck as a fly in a Venus Flytrap.

"Shall I have a go Janet?" suggested Chris, my friend's husband, "I've done this many times in the snow this year in the UK!" he exclaimed.

Chris gently revved the engine. He tried to drive forward but nothing happened, so he attempted to reverse the car out of the mud but still nothing happened. After about ten minutes of gentle persuasion Chris gave up.

"I can't believe we paid for this car park to get stuck in the mud! And there's nobody around to help." Chris grumbled as though this would never happen in the UK. Within two seconds of him saying this, a security guard magically appeared and offered to jump in the driving seat. I remembered vividly how the security guard on the previous occasion, revved the engine so hard that puffs of smoke billowed into the air, burning rubber smells hit our senses and the car got further wedged into the mud. I knowingly declined his kind offer.

"I'll call the car hire company to tow us out again." I declared. Having been through this 'sticky' predicament before, I knew exactly what to do.

As there was nothing else to do but wait, we locked the car and went for our dinner at the Beach House. While we were eating, I received a text telling me that Moses from the car hire company was on his way to help us.

"We'll be ok somebody called Moses is coming to our rescue," I re-assured our UK friends.
"Will he part the mud for us?" My friend, Fiona, chuckled.
"With a name like Moses, I'm sure he'll sort us out," I laughed.

Moses called me on my mobile phone. I couldn't understand a word he was saying. I started speaking in one of those stacatto, robotic voices.
"You in car park now?" I shouted as if he was deaf.
I couldn't understand what his response was, the line was all muffled, like he was calling from under the sea. I optimistically hoped he had said 'yes'.
"Ah good. I go car park NOW," I replied with heavy emphasis on the NOW.
Chris volunteered to join me. We walked to the car park but nobody was there. A local Balinese man plodded his way towards us on his little motorbike. I hoped he wasn't Moses, as this little guy certainly would have to part the mud to make any difference.  Luckily he didn't stop.
"I think he must have said he's on his way. Let's go back and finish off our dinner." I suggested to Chris.

Thirty minutes later, I received a text saying, "I come." I assumed that Moses was in the car park and walked towards the car. There was a group of six young Balinese lads looking curiously at the front of the car. They were trying to find a place where they could hitch the rope, but didn't seem to be making much progress. I walked up to the young lads and a slim Balinese guy with spiky hair introduced himself to me as Moses.

After about ten minutes of in-depth discussion, Moses jumped in the driver's seat and started to gently rev the car.  The five other lads started pushing the car. Mud splashed all over the place, the engine made it's familiar whirring, sloshing around sound. With no positive response from the car, Moses suddenly turned into 'Lewis Hamilton' and slammed his foot hard on the accelerator. Fumes of smoke lighted up the sky and the car rebelled as it slipped and swerved around in the mud. At this stage, as I gazed at the frenzied fiasco,  I wondered if we were going to end up in exactly the same position as the last time we got stuck in the mud. Perhaps even more stuck this time.

Deciding that this was not working, the young lads changed tack. Moses started to rev up the car in reverse mode. After much spitting and groaning, the car reluctantly moved. Hurray, Moses had done it! We were free to go home. I gave a tip to Moses and his friends, gathered everybody into the car, and arrived back at our villa, with a used to be black, but now chocolate brown car, that looked as though it had been dipped in a mud fondue.


What did I learn from this life lesson? Samuel Beckett said "Try again. Fail again. Fail better". I believe I failed better this time, as we could sit and eat dinner while waiting to be rescued and it didn't take so long to sort out. A much more civilised way to get stuck in the mud!


Janet

Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained

NOTHING VENTURED, NOTHING GAINED - "You can't get anywhere unless you're willing to take a risk." This proverb dates all the way back to 1374 by Chaucer, English author, poet and philosopher and is still as relevant as ever.

Recently, I've had conversations with people in organisations, who feel trapped on the corporate treadmill and say "This isn't what I signed up to do." Do you ever have moments like this in life? I even had a complete stranger eavesdrop on one of my business conversations in Starbucks last week and she started telling me how dissatisfied she was with the way in which corporate organisations suck every drop of energy out of you, and how you end up working around the clock until you forget that you have an identity outside of the organisation.

This got me thinking and reminded me of the days when I commuted and worked in London for 10 years, sometimes feeling like I was on the proverbial treadmill. We may feel we have no choice whether we signed up to something or not. We have responsibilities of mortgages, families, financial commitments, wanting to keep up with the latest electronic gadgets, lifestyle etc. So we think we have no choice but to keep doing what we're doing. We start to accept that we have no choice and do not question ourselves or others. We start to accept the status quo as it is. We may whinge and complain a little or greatly depending on what we have signed up or not signed up to do. We may end up feeling that's the way it has to be. So we get caught up with our routines and repeat the same old habits, putting up with what we have to put up with for 'now' in our own minds, which often translates into for 'all our working life'. We fool ourselves into believing that we have no choice.

We do have a choice.

• Firstly, we can choose what words we use to ourselves. I used to work in Human Resources and gave myself the label of 'fire-fighter', always extinguishing fires. This became my identity and my way of working - stressed! I would have felt far better about myself if I had used words like consultant, advisor or facilitator.
• Secondly, we can come up with solutions ourselves. We don't have to accept that this is the way it has to be. We don't have to wait for somebody or something else to give us a solution. We have the choice to do this ourselves.
• Thirdly, we can make suggestions to our stakeholders or boss, and approach these people with solutions rather than problems.

What can you do to achieve what you want? What solutions can you come up with? Who can you talk to and influence, so you do what you have signed up to do?


There's always a choice:-

"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." 
                   J.K. Rowling 










What choices can you make? Remember, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Janet

A Cunning Plan

I have a cunning plan ......

"It's as cunning as a fox who's just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University." Baldrick from the Black Adder British TV series.

This last week has been a whirlwind of events. Guests staying, new guests arriving and playing musical beds as we move around to make room for everybody, my daughter's 5th birthday party, flying into Singapore to work for two days, and flying back to Bali to welcome a batch of new guests, a family of four flying in from the UK.

 

My mind has been flying around in all directions from: marketing our next Business NLP programme in Bali; preparing for and running coaching sessions; attending business meetings in Singapore; interviewing for a new business development role in our Singapore NoLimits team; setting up a new Executive Search division of NoLimits; to planning whether we have enough pillows, bedlinen, plates, glasses, knives and forks for our avalanche of guests; helping my daughters with their homework; organising party food, games and party bags for my daughter's birthday party and what are we going to feed all our guests with?! My mind could have easily exploded with such an overload of information.

The only way to navigate such busy times is to:

• Have an overall plan with actions and write it down.
• Follow the plan one step at a time.
• Enjoy the process rather than just focusing on the destination.
• Celebrate success.

I'm amazed at how easily these 4 simple steps worked for me on Saturday, the day of my daugther's 5th birthday party. As I was running such a tight ship, I found myself returning from the supermarket two hours before the party was due to start (I'm still getting used to how long it takes to get things done in Bali). At this stage, no food had been cooked, all the furniture needed moving around to accommodate for the onslaught of 4 and 5 year olds running around our home, and the schedule of party games still had to be agreed.

Luckily I had a cunning plan! I had already written down what we were going to eat for the party and my 9 year old daughter had written a list of party games, so all we needed was agreement, delegation of tasks and focus. My whole family had a role to play. We all agreed our plan of action and had completed all our tasks within half an hour of our first party guests arriving. Apart from a few glass breakages, the party ran smoothly. We enjoyed the process and celebrated our success as a family by sitting down after the party to watch 'Alvin and the Chipmunks 2'!

As the famous proverb says: "Failing to plan is planning to fail."

What can you plan to ensure you're not drowning in the 'busy-ness' of everyday life?

What can a cunning plan do for you?

Janet

Back to the Chopping Board

Back to the Chopping Board!


Have you ever been in one of those situtions where you think everything is under control and something happens where you find yourself at square one again?

Up until last week, I was very proud of myself getting resources, systems and processes in place and as close as possible to under control in a place like Bali. Then the unexpected happened. I found myself going back to 'Go' and without collecting $200!  Life can be like a game of Monopoly at times. Even when you move from 'Go' you don't quite know where the dice will take you and whether you'll land in a good place or not. The best strategy in Monopoly is to know what you want and head in the direction you want to go by buying as many properties as you can to give you the security you need. Similarly in life, the best strategy is know what you want and head in that direction, so even if the unexpected happens to you, you can still feel under control.

So what happened to send me back to 'Go'? Last week I returned from dropping off my girls and their friends at the Green School's Green Camp. They had a day of outdoor activities lined up for them from climbing ropes and trees to making chocolate and wrestling in the mud. I was pleased with myself as my children and their friends were having fun while on their school holidays and I could get on with some work.When I got back to the office, my assistant looked concerned.
"Can I speak to you Ms Janet?" (My Indonesian assistant is always very polite and will only refer to people as Ms or Mr, hence Ms Janet).
"Yes of course." I replied positively, bracing myself for bad news as this is what 'can I speak to you' usually means.
"Your cook will no longer be working for you."
"Really?" I responded slightly surprised. "What has happened?" I was curious.
"He didn't turn up for work today, so I phoned him and asked him why. He said that he would not return to work unless you paid him twice his monthly salary. I told him I didn't like his attitude and that we don't require his services any more." My assistant gasped for breath, after she said all that she needed to say. She seemed relieved to have shared this 'breaking news' with me.
"So my cook didn't turn up for work, he didn't phone in to say that he wasn't turning up for work and when you phoned him he refused to come to work unless we doubled his salary?" I summarised to make sure I heard everything correctly.
"Yes Ms Janet and you've told me how attitude is more important than skills when we interview and employ people."

"Yes, it's most important." I nod in total agreement as I think to myself it was nice having somebody with cooking skills! "I'm glad that you told him not to return to work." I concurred, knowing that it was for the best.

So back to the chopping board for me. Our cook had worked for us for a short stint of two months. Although I can cook and did cook for the family for the first six months in Bali, it was good to have an Indonesian who could source and cook the local food. When we first moved to Bali, I had to take a dictionary with me to the supermarket, to know the Indonesian words for salt and sugar etc. I returned home with endless bottles of black liquid and not one of them was soy sauce until I discovered the right name - Kecap Asin!

I had been recommended to employ a cook by an ex-patriate in Bali who said it was the best thing she had ever done. One of my friends told me I was so lucky to have a cook, she lives in Australia and said she would have to win the National Lottery to employ somebody to cook for her. For a brief moment I panicked , it had all happened so quickly and I was already addicted to having meals prepared for me. It was those finishing touches such as placing pretty coloured frangipani flowers on the dinner table and preparing healthy snack boxes for me when I travelled from Bali airport that I enjoyed!  It also occurred to me that we have a constant stream of different visitors staying with us over the next few months.. Yikes, I'll be tied up in the hot and steamy kitchen forever!

Before spiralling downhill too fast, I remembered there must be some good news coming out of the bad news. The good news is that there were things that weren't right, so I don't have to deal with those challeneges anymore and ...... I can actually cook. I haven't become a totally reliant, incapable and incompetent person. It just takes planning, preparation and knowing what we want so we can head in the right direction.

This life lesson reminded me that as with anything in life, whenever we feel that we've gone back to 'Go' without collecting any reward, we can focus on what we can do, what we do have and head in the direction that will take us to who and where we want to be, otherwise we may just end up somewhere.

I love this quote from Alice in Wonderland that sums this up nicely:

Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?
The Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to
Alice: I don't much care where.
The Cat: Then it doesn't much matter which way you go.
Alice: …so long as I get somewhere.
The Cat: Oh, you're sure to do that, if only you walk long enough.

Enjoy life's challenges.
Janet