Getting Caught in a Rip Current of Thoughts

Getting Caught in a Rip Current

It's funny how our thoughts can lead us into all sorts of situations. I was only thinking yesterday about what story I could include in this week's blog, along the lines of my friend Margit's quote from Wayne Dyer 'Change your thinking, change your world' and then something happened to me ..........

My family and I went to our local beach on a beautiful, sunny Sunday morning, to try out our children's new Toysrus boogie boards. I borrowed my youngest daughter's board and went out to have some fun with my two older girls. We were having a wonderful time. What I didn't realise was that every time my girls said "No, not this one Mummy, let's surf the next wave," we were going further and further out and the waves were getting higher and higher. In between dipping and rising on the big waves, I could see my husband in the distance waving at me from the beach and it wasn't one of those 'hope you're having fun' waves. I knew we were out of our depths.

I told my two daughters to hit the next big wave and head back to the beach immediately. Luckily they followed my instructions and the next few big waves hurtled them back to the beach. I wasn't so lucky as I had got caught in a rip current. Every time I tried to hurl myself forward, the rip current kept on dragging me back further into the sea. The tide was going out too, so I was being dragged by the suction of the sea in the wrong direction. The more I tried to take myself in the right direction, the more I kept on getting sucked back. My thoughts were in a complete torment. Worried I was going to end up like Tom Hanks in Cast Away (only he didn't get washed up on a deserted island on a pink, children's polystyrene Toysrus boogie board), I kicked harder and harder to head in the direction I wanted to go. My thoughts ranged from 'I'm getting nowhere' to 'this sea is getting bigger and deeper' and 'I hope I won't have to be airlifted from my pink, polystyrene children's boogie board!'

I had so many thoughts in a short space of time, but it seemed like an eternity. While wondering how I was going to get out of this predicament of getting nowhere, a young Matt Damon lookalike swam up to me on his surfboard and asked if I needed help. I was so relieved to meet this kind gentleman and like a scene from The Bourne Identity, he towed me back to safety. What a relief!



Do you ever feel like you are caught in a rip current of thoughts? The more you try to push away, the more you get sucked in, until your thoughts get deeper and deeper. The deeper you go, the harder it is to see anything else but these thoughts. You can end up in a sea of thoughts that overwhelm you. It's as if you cannot control your thoughts and they have a mind of their own.

The good news is that we can control our thoughts and we can easily change them. With hindsight, I realise that my biggest mistake in the sea was failing to paddle across the waves and head out of the rip current. Instead, I hoped that by going forwards, I would miraculously find myself back to feeling good and in control. If we use this analogy in life, it's like having some positive thoughts 'on the surface' but you've become so habituated to a certain path, you end up back in the underlying current of unresourceful thoughts. Unfortunately the force of the rip current was so strong, it kept on pulling me back, like one of those toy ping pong balls attached to a bat on elastic. The best thing to do was to break the grip of the rip, just as we need to break the grip of our thoughts when they are not sending us in the right direction.

As the anonymous saying goes:

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny."

Be careful of your thoughts. Your thoughts can either help or hinder you. You might as well choose the ones that will help give you a good destiny.

'Change your thinking, change your world.' Learn more about how you do this beyond just positive thinking, by attending our NoLimits NLP programme in Bali. See the link attached on my blog for more information.

Janet

Changing Your State of Mind

Your State of Mind

This week, while working in Singapore, I've observed two interesting conversations with people, which have prompted me to remember the importance of our state of mind.

The first conversation which alerted me was when I hailed a taxi to take me to a training workshop. I told him where I was going and he asked  why I didn't take the MRT, the local underground train system! I pointed out that I had a suitcase packed with 10 heavy manuals and video camera equipment as well as my laptop, so I didn't feel like lugging a heaving load up and down the MRT's escalators. He then proceeded to ask me the usual Singapore taxi driver interrogation questions:

"Where you from?" he enquired.

"I'm from the UK." I responded.

"Ah UK. You from England ...... you like Manchester United?" asked the taxi driver. Singaporean taxi drivers are addicted to the English Premier League football, especially Manchester United and they expect all British people to be avid football fans too.

"No I don't like football." I sensed an end to this part of the conversation.

"When you go back?" the taxi driver gnarled in his Chinese, Singaporean accent.

"I've lived in Asia for over 10 years. I've lived in Singapore for 8 years." I retorted and couldn't contemplate explaining to him that I also live in Bali.

"Singapore so boring lah," the taxi driver grumbled.  

"Singapore can be exciting, you just have to make it that way." I found myself continuing to give examples and sell the excitement of Singapore to the taxi driver.

"No, it's boring. When I make money, I go Malaysia. You can drive long, long way."

Admittedly, Singapore is only a small island and you can't drive very far before you end up in the sea, but a move to Malaysia will not necessarily change the taxi driver's state of mind. He's already habituated to thinking this way. So many people wait and hope that one day their life will be more exciting when they have enough money or retire, but why wait?  We can adopt a state of mind where we can enjoy life in the now and enjoy the process of working towards our goals. We can all mind the gaps we create, simply by changing our state of mind.

My second, much more uplifting conversation was with a good Swedish friend of mine who works on a contract basis with a reputable Swedish multinational. This lady's state of mind was so different to the taxi driver. She told me how she loves her job and is so pleased to be given the role of an internal Leadership Coach. She hopes that her contract will be extended to a full-time, permanent role. The words she was using enhanced her state of mind to be resourceful and powerful.  It was inspiring and refreshing to be with this person. Her upbeat and positive state of mind was infectious. I'm sure the organisation she is currently working with will do what it can to ensure they continue to employ her, as she has such a motivated state of mind.

We can change our state of mind by changing the words we use to ourselves and the words we use with others. By changing our words we can change our thoughts. We can make washing up, doing the ironing, paying the bills, doing a boring job or living in a boring place exciting. We can even turn around our health for the better, if we apply the right state of mind.

Will the taxi driver discover excitement rather than boredom?  Does he really want to wait until he can afford to retire and live in Malaysia? Why wait if he can find excitement now, simply by changing his state of mind.

"The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind."
Wayne Dyer - motivational speaker and author

Change your state of mind and change your life. There are no limits to what we can do.

Find out more about how to empower your own thinking by attending our NoLimits NLP Business Practitioner Certification programme this June by clicking on the NLP link on this blog.

Janet

An Excuse for Discovering a Whole New World

A Whole New World - Last night when putting my daughters to bed, they asked "When are we having more visitors?" After having two months of non-stop visitors, I was quite happy to say never again!  Instead I curiously asked why they wanted more visitors. "We do so many fun things when visitors stay," was their reply.

My daughters' comment did make me step back and think that they were right. Despite my panic attacks about having enough bread, butter, eggs and toilet roll and the constant stream of checking in and out new family members and friends,  they did prompt us to do things that we otherwise may have thought 'we'll do tomorrow.' We can get so caught up in the 'merry-go-round' of life, we can forget to do new things. Our friends and family were the perfect excuse for us to discover a whole new world...




Since having friends and family visit us we have tried out surfing (it's much harder than what it looks); driving a four hour journey north west to the West Bali National Park and snorkelling among rainbow coloured, tropical fish;......



 

......driving and walking in the central mountain and lake area of Bedugul; staying overnight in the cooler mountain location of Munduk; watching the early morning antics of a group of wild dolphins in the Java sea; discovering how pearls are farmed;....

....driving through beautiful, stepped rice fields that look like green, organic amphitheartres; stopping off and trying to make ourselves understood at the local warungs (cafes) for refreshments and snacks;.....

......discovering delicious, healthy eating places;  receiving a very warm welcome by the Italian owners of the Bali EcoVillage, where all the buildings are constructed out of bamboo and recycled materials; walking in the green, tropical countryside to cool, refreshing waterfalls; swinging from a rope and diving into the fast flowing Ayung river; shopping in Ubud, Seminyak and at Denpasar market, and doing yet more shopping in strange, off the beaten track places;....





.......feeding elephants; swimming in the sea off Legian beach, finding ourselves caught out in a tropical rainstorm and getting refused entry to La Lucciola, the 'in' place to be;......

.......and staying in East Bali at Life in Amed, a very welcoming boutique hotel that is owned and run by my good friend Sarah Laight, where she bought and roasted a local pig for us to feast on and my father, who is a butcher, demonstrated how to cut him up - poor pig ...... I couldn't bear to see his face and then eat him so I had Sarah's tasty vegetarian burger instead!

Our friends and family have been amazed at the sights, sounds, smells and unique experiences of Bali. Some unexpected, some very unusual and some in total awe. We have laughed and laughed until as my friend Fiona said, "I feel like a have a six pack from laughing."

Family and friends can be a source of enrichment for all of us, if we choose to make it this way. Take time to value these special people.

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
Anaïs Nin, author.

Enjoy family, friends and new ones too.

Janet