Who is Right?

After having spent the week before last in Singapore, last week I spent the whole week in Bali. Apart from both countries being located in Asia, they are poles apart, like positive is to negative. As usual, Bali tested my urbanised, 'I'm right' ways and I learnt some lessons along the way......

We have a driver who usually takes our girls back and fore to school. For the first three days of last week he was unable to do this as his wife had taken ill, so it was over to me to drive the girls to school and pick them up again. At first it was quite a novelty driving the 40 minute ride across the Balinese countryside; through a chaotic town where it seemed more akin to being a gladiator charging into a ring, rather than driving across the busy junctions (as the traffic is endless, the only way to get across is to nudge your way through. Miraculously, the barrage of motorbike, lorry and car drivers amazingly just seem to let you through without any aggressive beeping of horns or acts of revenge!); and right through to yet more Balinese rice fields, potholes and deep into the jungle where the Green School is situated.

What's interesting about driving in Bali is that I seem to spend most of the time on the other side of the road and I barely get beyond third gear! While dicing with death, to overtake the stream of motorbikes, chugging trucks, vehicles (if you can call some of them this) that are driving at a snail's pace, as if they have all the time in the world (and they most probably do), and the odd ancient tourist bus converting most of its diesel fuel into puffs of smoke in the air, it's like virtual driving on a computer game which has unexpected obstacles that pop up from nowhere.

It was Day 3 of driving the girls back and fore to school and the novelty of pretending to be Formula One driver, Schumacher, on the Bali roads was wearing thin.  By the time I had dropped off the girls, returned home to do some work, back again to school to pick up the girls and back home, I was spending 4 hours of my day commuting and picking up / dropping off the girls!  The final straw to test my patience was when I had to drive up a bank to avoid running over a group of kneeling women who were giving offerings across the junction of a main road (you'd be arrested for causing an obstruction in other countries) and twenty minutes later, my car was suddenly immobilised when I drove into a group of worshippers who engulfed my car like a swarm of bees. As this dense mass of contented, smiling people surrounded my car while singing, creating a din with their drums and merrily ambling along the road, they showed absolutely no concern about causing a delay for me whatsoever. Initially, I felt a pang of annoyance and said to myself 'no wonder nothing gets done in this country!' Gradually, as I stood stationary with nothing else to do but look at these happy, care-free people, I couldn't help but smile. According to my map of the world, I should be able to drive along the road and get to my destination on time. According to their map of the world, it was perfectly acceptable to bring the traffic to a standstill and cause a major bout of congestion. Who was right?  Neither of us really, as there is no right answer and yet by respecting their map of the world (after all I was in their country), I was able to quickly change my perspective and avoid getting stressed about this whole situation I had found myself in.

When I returned home that evening, my attention was drawn to a frame on my wall. It says:-

"Go placidly amid the noise and the haste and remember what peace there may be in silence,
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself to others you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your career however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself, especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of years gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture this strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are the child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be; and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul. With all its shams, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."
Max Ehrmann 1927 

What can you do more of to respect other people's map of the world? How will it cause less stress if you do?


As well as respecting other people's map of the world, these Balinese people taught me to remember to smile. As Phyllis Diller says:-

"A smile is a curve that sets everything straight."


Remember to smile and your map of the world will change for the better.


Janet
Discover more about understanding maps of the world on our intensive 7 day NLP programme in Bali this Nov 28 - Dec 4 NoLimits NLP 
www.nolimitsasia.com