Be Who You Want to Be

Last week, I presented with my talented NoLimits colleague, Maureen Koh, to a group of people who were interested in using 'Neuro Linguistic Programming' (NLP) in Business, at the Hard Rock Cafe in Singapore (thank you Lindley, the President of the NLP Association in Singapore, for inviting us to present and for the wonderful venue).
Three bands were performing on the same night and I almost felt like a 'rock star' with all the guitars and musical memorabilia that were hanging from the funky red walls. In such a 'buzzy' environment, I felt the pressure to deliver an exciting presentation, so I kicked off my presentation with a story (one of the best ways to capture attention).
The story was about why it took me so long to set up our training and development company 'NoLimits'.  I didn't really think of the story as that exciting, but it was a personal and genuine account of how I first came across NLP and how NoLimits uses it to add 'spice' to our executive coaching and training workshops, as well as how NLP has helped me through the rough times of global recessions and losing 80% of our business overnight. It wasn't until the next day, when I was coaching a wonderful coachee, who always inspires me (she thinks I inspire her, but she's the one who enthuses me) and she said "why don't you blog that great story you told last night?" My response was that it hadn't even occurred to me to blog this and was it interesting enough?  On reflection, I thought well why not because there is one big life lesson in my story and it's to do with being who you want to be.

It took me 10 year to set up my own training and development company. I dreamed and talked about it for years and years, but I always had something else to do first and then I would be ready. First I had to get more work experience, then I had my children, also I had to study lots of qualifications to gain the credibility to be able to do what I wanted to do.  The list went on and on for at least 10 years, until one day my husband jolted me into action by saying "So when are you going to start this company that you keep on talking about?" I could have slapped him in the face, as I had just had our third daughter which I felt was quite an achievement, but what he said was one of those defining moments for me. Even though, at the time, I found lots of valid excuses to defend myself, I was putting off something that was important to me because I was too 'busy' finding other things to do. The danger with this approach is that the 'one day' may never happen, if we keep finding reasons to delay who we want to be.

Determined to show my husband that I wasn't just talking hot air, I called the company 'NoLimits' because our limits can stop all of us from being and doing what we want to do. My husband liked the company name so much, he gave up his well paid corporate CFO job to join me.  Now we had to make my dream work. I was finally forced to take a step off the starting line and set up our company for real. Was it an easy step?  No.  Was it an overnight success?  No.  Was it challenging?  Yes.  Was it rewarding?  Financially - still working on it.  Enjoyment, playing to my passions and strengths and courage 150%. Was it worth it?  Most definitely.

A few months before we launched NoLimits, I told my husband that I had 'just one more training programme to attend and then I would be ready!'  It was something called 'NLP'.  I didn't have a clue what it was about.  All I knew was that my HR Director had been on a two day NLP workshop, over 10 years ago and subconsciously I remembered the two words she said about it. "It's about the brain. It's fascinating."  10 years later I finally attended a NLP Practitioner programme and was blown away by it, wondering why I hadn't studied it before.  I was there to learn personal development techniques to help others in corporate organisations and soon realised that I was there to help myself. Coincidentally, NLP covers so much about overcoming our limits, my company name suddenly had even more meaning.

As part of the NLP programme, I was introduced to the 'BE + DO = HAVE' concept.  If you be who you want to be, you'll do what you want to do and so you'll have what you want to have.
I had spent over 10 years following a different, limiting concept called 'DO+ HAVE= BE'.  If I do a job in a corporate organisation for so many years, do my qualifications etc, I will have enough qualifications and money to one day 'be' who I want to be.
This new concept of 'Being' was so simple and yet a huge 'aha moment' for me. By changing my thinking and approach I could now be on top of the world, rather than under it and I could BE the person I wanted to BE, so I would DO what I wanted to DO and then HAVE what I wanted to have.

So it was good-bye to just Doing and Having, so that one day I could Be, as 'one day' may never come. Who do you want to be? What can you do to start being who you want to be, doing what you want to do and having what you want to have?

"Whatever you can do, or dream you can, Begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now."
W.H. Murray paraphrasing Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Enjoy being who you want to be.

Janet

To find out more about NLP and turning around your thinking, join our next public programme in Bali from 30 May - 5 June 2011 click here for brochure

Also, connect with the Singapore NLP Association here