Have you ever been in one of those situations where your brain goes into a complete panic, your body into a freaky spasm and your inner talk shouts at you 'what shall I do now?' Well I don't know about you, but over the years I seem to have successfully trained my brain to raise all the alarms in these sorts of situations and afterwards when I have time to reflect, it usually amazes me at how quickly I have come to the most irrational conclusion. Then I think to myself 'how on earth did I get there!'
A simple example was when my poor driver (it's a regular feature to have a driver in Indonesia where the traffic is so bad and he is so much calmer than me) had come down with some horrid looking allergy - his head was swollen and his face had erupted into enormous watery looking welts - in a strange sort of way his head seemed to turn into one of those globes of the earth that has a 3 D effect to the map and his body became the thin stand that held it. When he picked up my three daughters and myself after school, my girls were already sitting in the back of the car with the seats in a 'back incline' position by the time I turned around, which made a complete change from the fight they usually over who is going to sit in the front of the car. When I looked over at my driver, my pity quickly turned into thinking 'I hope it's not contagious' and when I returned home, I found myself running to the bathroom to search for the hand-sanitizer - it's a good job we have no internet at home otherwise I would have searched the internet and panicked myself even more!
I told my driver not to come to work until he was better, so it was over to me to do the driving. I'm ok with driving in Bali, in fact I quite like the fun of not knowing who or what will suddenly pull out in front of me. I'm also aware of all the stories I hear that if you're in an accident in Indonesia and they see you are a foreigner, you are always to blame - apparently, you can end up paying the whole family, even if only one person is involved in the accident! So I was on full alert while driving, being extra vigilant with the early morning traffic rush while the literally hundreds of motorbikes headed for me like torpedoes and swerved around my car as if we were on a racing track.
Luckily, I successfully and safely arrived at my intended destination the 'ATM'. The only challenge was after having reminded my husband on several occasions to transfer some money, there was none in the account.. In the space of reading the message 'sorry not enough funds' to retrieving my card, my thoughts had already taken me down the route of having no cash in Indonesia and suddenly I was picturing my family starving. I promptly phoned my husband who was in Singapore to find out what was going on and there was no answer. My thougtht pattern had now jumped to 'what if he's lying on the floor dead' (he went to the gym a few days before for the first time in 6 years). Whether he was dead or not, it was inconvenient and my motherly instinct immediately took me to the conclusion of survival. It's amazing where our thought patterns can lead to in an instant. Fortunately, my panic was over when my husband called me back two minutes later and explained that actually the banks aren't open at 7am and it was just too early for the money to have been transferred.
Closely following this little incident, another panic happened to me when I took my 13 year old daughter to the dentist to have a brace fitted. After years of continuing to suck her thumb, she had no alternative and the dentist re-assured me that she would definitely stop sucking her thumb when she had a brace. When the dentist quoted me the fee, I thought he said the reasonable price of Rp 1.2million (US$120). I went to the ATM and took out Rp2million (US$200), just in case some extra was needed. When I carefully counted out 1.2 million in 100,000 notes the receptionist shook her head. I looked at the amount she had written and I read it as '2.1million' - not a problem I thought to myself - I must have turned around the numbers in my head so I painstakingly started again and counted out Rp 2.1 million in 100,000 notes. This time she shook her head tutting and blurting out something Indonesian to her colleague. I now panicked and looked at my daughter, who equally didn't have a clue what was going on. The receptionist looked at me as though I was thick and slowly shouted, "21 million" (US$2100). "21 million?" I exclaimed to my daughter, "but I can't even count to 21 million, let alone have the cash to pay for it!"
I didn't have a credit card with me, so had no alternative but to walk to the closest ATM and withdraw the cash. I already knew what a pain this would be as many ATMs will only let you have a certain amount at a time and then you have to key in your personal number all over again and agan and again, until eventually you get the amount you want. After having taken over the ATM booth for a good 20 minutes, while a long queue of people patiently waited outside down the street, and over 20 transactions later, I had amassed 21 million rupiah in 100,000 notes. Fortunately, I had my big bag with me which bulged to the seams with cash and made me feel as conspicuous as a bank-robber .
My daughter who is much taller and bigger than me accompanied me like a security guard and together we paced down the street in Denpasar, the capital of Bali, highly wary (bag snatchings from motorbikes frequently happen) and trying to look as though we were going for a casual stroll which is a very odd sight as usually you don't get ex-patriates nor holiday makers taking a stroll along the streets of this part of Denpasar.
We made it back to the dentist unscathed, but the shock of paying 21 million for my daughter's brace affected both my husband and I for the rest of the week (it still affects me when I think about it!), particulalry as my daughter still continues to suck her thumb with a brace on!!
What have these life lessons taught me? As the British government's poster campaign in 1939 said, '
KEEP CALM and CARRY ON.' A good question to ask when we find ourselves in this sheer panic situations is, 'will this matter in a few days, in a month, in a year or the next few years?' Although I may still be grumbling about the amount in a few years, regaining this perspective does help soften the blow at the time.
I'm still training my brain to panic less and be calm. It takes some concerted effort on my behalf and I'm getting better.
For this life lesson, I admire this quote and it will be useful for those of you, who like me, tend to characteristically panic:-
"Power is so characteristically calm, that calmness in itself has the aspect of strength."
Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton, English Politician, 1803-1873
Enjoy the power of being calm and carrying on.
Janet
I didn't have a credit card with me, so had no alternative but to walk to the closest ATM and withdraw the cash. I already knew what a pain this would be as many ATMs will only let you have a certain amount at a time and then you have to key in your personal number all over again and agan and again, until eventually you get the amount you want. After having taken over the ATM booth for a good 20 minutes, while a long queue of people patiently waited outside down the street, and over 20 transactions later, I had amassed 21 million rupiah in 100,000 notes. Fortunately, I had my big bag with me which bulged to the seams with cash and made me feel as conspicuous as a bank-robber .
